Thursday, January 28, 2016

The creative process or lack there of...



(I apologize, the first few paragraphs are depressing and sad. Feel free to skip them. I felt a need to talk about my loss in a little more detail than normal. But you won't hurt my feelings if you skip over it. There are days I just might too!)

Well, it's been a rough couple months. In November I lost my furry baby girl, Sparky. She took a piece of me with her. I had her for 15years. Trained her as a puppy, put up with all her craziness and puppy stubbornness, cleaned up after her, paid the vet bills, and the last few years, made sure she had her medicine twice daily. The last 8 months of her life she lost the use of her back leg. I thought in April that she was a goner. We had a day trip planned to Columbus, and the entire time I was there I worried about my Sparky. Needless to say, she persevered, she wasn't ready to leave us. She didn't seem like she was in pain and still gave me her goofy smile and still got super excited when we had pizza, she loved pizza crust.

In October, we were shocked to see our other dog go downhill within only a few days, and then when I was preparing myself to take her to the vet, she was gone. It was just that fast.
We watched it happen. Then 6 weeks later it happened again. I took Sparky out for her nightly potty break, and once we got back inside she looked like a rag doll. In my heart, I knew what was happening. I tried to stay up with her all night, not wanting her to be alone when it was time, but her crying got to be too much for me to bear. I couldn't help her, I couldn't make anything better. I was her mommy, that was my job. I tried to get a few hours sleep in bed, but I soon was back downstairs with her. My husband never left her side. Part of me hoped she would relax enough while I was sleeping, but when I woke, she was the same. Late morning I fell asleep for a half hour, my husband woke me up - my baby girl had finally fallen asleep. It was over...

Depression swept over me in a way I was unprepared for. It was the holidays, but I was too sad to get in the mood, however, I tried my best. I gave myself the time off to get over my sadness, but day after day I didn't feel up to doing anything.

I wanted to have my new book started by the New Year. Dom was my next character. But I was still in a funk. Day after day I sat and tried to write, but the story wasn't flowing. I sat and stared at the computer, and eventually found myself on Facebook doing nothing much at all.
If I wasn't going to write, I could at least get things ready for my signing in March, so I worked on that. I'm still diligently working on that. Everyone wants the next installment of the Renegades, trust me, I do too. I finally started writing Dominic's story. I will tell you, he is easy to write. It's Hailee who is difficult.

But I'm not the same. I don't think I ever will be.
Let's add the new kitten and then the new puppy. They are like two toddlers. I haven't had a toddler in 11years! 
I almost planned to adopt a second dog to make three, yes, three pets in out household. But after seeing how much of a handful Nika the dog was, and she liked to play too rough with Buddy the cat who had become my little baby, I was NOT getting another dog. I even applied to adopt a puppy at a shelter, but there was no way. Not now. Even if it does leave a huge hole in my heart. Now I'm planning my next tattoo honoring my lost pups.

I'm working on Dom's story, I swear. I just think it will be out a month or two later than I planned. I'm still hoping for Spring. But I have a pre-teen son, a 9month old kitten and a 11week old puppy. During naptime things are nice and sweet and cute. But when they are wound up... oh wow!
I can give you a few things to help you through the delay with the next book (that has no name. I'm toying around with Legendary, Legend, Delay of Game, and Save Me)
Here are my inspirations for Dom and Hailee.

This is Dominic Zanetti. Dark eyes, Dark hair, and tattoos.... holy moly is he a cutie!
(fyi-this guy is a real hockey player, he's in the minor league, Wilkes Barre Baby Pens)

These links will take you to pics of who I see Hailee as. I can't wait to purchase the stock photos and have a real blast with teasers, cause she is cute and hot.

https://us.fotolia.com/id/51548771?lightbox_page=2
https://us.fotolia.com/id/76542919

As soon as I purchase the stock photos I'll post them.
Well, that's what's happening in my neck of the woods. So don't despair, Dom's book is coming soon. Plus there will be more Renegades books after that. I'm already planning the characters :)

No comments:

Post a Comment

Did you know?

Did you know that I write two very different types of Romances? My Renegades Series is Spicy & Sweet Sports Romance. Lots of spice heati...